With the advent of texting and email, I would venture to say that you have sent out or received a message where the content was taken the wrong way. When this happens, you experience all kinds of emotions ranging from hurt, anger, confusion, and frustration. The art of communication, especially face to face communication is quickly disappearing in an world driven by electronic communication.
Here is very funny example of how miscommunication can even take place in written form:
[callout]There was a nice lady, a minister's widow, who was a little old-fashioned. She was planning a week's vacation in California at a church campground near Yosemite National Park, but she wanted to make sure of the accommodations first. Uppermost in her mind were bathroom facilities, but she couldn't bring herself to write "toilet" in a letter. After considerable deliberation, she settled on "bathroom commode," but when she wrote that down, it still sounded too forward. So, after the first page of her letter, she referred to the bathroom commode as "BC." "Does the cabin where I will be staying have its own BC? If not, where is the BC located?" is what she actually wrote. The campground owner took the first page of the letter and the lady's check and gave it to his secretary. He put the remainder of the letter on the desk of the senior member of his staff, without noticing that the staffer would have no way of knowing what "BC" meant. Then the owner went off to town to run some errands. The staff member came in after lunch, found the letter, and was baffled by the euphemism. He showed the letter around to several counselors, but they couldn't decipher it either. The staff member's wife, who knew that the lady was the widow of a famous Baptist preacher, was sure that it must be a question about the local Baptist church. "Of course!" the first staffer exclaimed. "'BC' stands for 'Baptist Church.'"
The staffer was quite busy, so it took him a few days to answer the woman's letter. Finally, he sat down and wrote: Dear Madam, I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure in informing you that the BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the 'BC.' I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks. Remember, this is a friendly community. Sincerely, . . .[/callout]
No one tries to miscommunicate on purpose unless they are a liar and have no problem telling lies. I am referring to basic communication most of us do on a daily basis. We send the email or text that we think is meticulously crafted and carries our thoughts in a perfectly harmless manner. Unfortunately your message isn't the greatest piece of communication you have ever crafted and is misconstrued and the next thing you know all heck breaks loose. When that happens you need to do the following in order to avoid a total meltdown.
Contact the person you sent the correspondence to immediately.
Do not fire off another email or text. Pick up the phone or get up and go see them face to face. The problem with electronic communication is that it really isn't communication. Communication takes place face to face. This practice goes both ways - whether you sent the message or received the message.
You have heard the practice of counting to ten before you respond to someone who may have said something to you face to face. If your only choice is to respond back electronically, I would recommend waiting at least 2-4 hours before responding. And then I would have a second person read over what I was about to send off. In some instances it is good to have a paper trail to follow if there are matters of business etc... But again, take a deep breath and think about the relationship before you press Enter.
Work for resolution
You very might be right in the solution you are trying to offer, but is it worth ruining and losing a friendship or business relationship over. Of course, if there are issues that would cause irreparable harm it might be best to move on. But, the goal is resolution, always. When you work for resolution you practice grace, it brings healing and strengthens relationships. If you have to win the battle or argument that relationship will be harmed.
It saddens me that I seem to see relations among followers of Jesus being continually destroyed more so than those who are not because miscommunication. Fellow followers, it should not be so.
