Hebrews 12:3-11

Discipline is a misunderstood concept. The words disciple and discipline come from the same word that means Learner.

If a child can’t learn to obey a parent who is visible, he or she will never learn to obey a God who isn’t. God’s dream for your child isn’t to make them happy. It is to make them like Jesus! Happiness is a by-product of God’s plan for our kids.  You as a parent can be working against God’s plan for your children because you care more about their happiness, success, or popularity. Parents who are afraid to put their feet down usually have children that step on their toes.

We love God’s grace when it is applied to us in the sense that God forgives us of the sin that we commit. We have a really hard time applying that same concept to others, especially when the other is our child. This is where the difference in punishment and discipline comes in. It is about grace. Punishment literally means to forcefully correct, to scourge or to take whatever measure to make someone to obey.

Listen, when we are born again and invite Christ to be the Lord (Leader) of our lives and ask him for forgiveness, God begins to develop the life of Christ in us. If Jesus took all the punishment for you and me, He also took all of it for our children. We must teach them that the only way to make right what they did, is to trust that when Jesus died he paid for their sins. Since Jesus took the punishment, my role as a parent is not punish, but to discipline. Punishment focuses on the past – what they did that we believe deserves retribution.

Discipline is future focused, always pointing to the future. It has nothing to do with retribution and everything to do with redemption.

A Parent’s Fear – Spanking

Proverbs 13:24 is clear, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

It doesn’t say that the one who spares the rod has the wrong opinion about discipline, it says he hates his son.
Proverbs 22:15, “Foolishness is tangled up in the heart of a youth; the rod of discipline will drive it away from him.”

You may not like these verses, but the Bible doesn’t really give us the option of picking our favorites and ignoring the ones we don’t like. Spanking is controversial. I believe there are times when it is appropriate to spank your kids. Example: a kid continues to do something that is directly disobedient to what you ask. If you spank out of anger, you are in danger of provoking your child. Provoking them from turning from God and turning from you.